The Turning Point

Okay well this seems like a week of epiphany, I just realized I'm just nineteen. Yeah I have at least a good fifty years ahead of me. This is my time to love and live my life, to wear my heart on sleeves and have a new crush every week. To be free, to be me, to explore, to learn, to make silly mistakes. This is it. I would never get these years back as I grow up, would never feel the same way again. I want to live my life without regrets, twenty years from now, I don't want to look back and say I wish I would have done this or I wish I would not have done this, this is my life and I want to live it my way. This does not mean I would make stupid choices and become someone I would hate but this definitely means that I don't have to be the uptight one all the time, the one who is always prim and proper, the responsible one. I need to let go. I just need to be the crazy one, the fun one, the one who can fall for someone and the one for whom someone will fall.  

I just found this poem online on this great Facebook page called Poem porn. Check it out it is really empowering and inspirational.

"All I need is the air I breath and a place to rest my head" - Say all I need, One Republic. This line with a change i.e.- All I need is the air I breath and a good book sums up my condition pretty aptly. I know I need a lot more things to survive but here I'm not talking about surviving but about living. All I need to live is the air I breath that's the bare necessity everything else is just secondary. My bare necessities are not all material things, all I need to survive and live a happy and fruitful life in these next five years is - the air I breath and my resolve. My resolve to grow and to help others. Well why am I writing these things is because lately I got sidetracked and started wishing for things or rather people whom I did not need. And well in needing them I actually forgot what I really wanted, my purpose, my goal. I forgot why was I here, why was I doing law. But today is the day I realized what are my true priorities and this is a post to commemor

Okay I have so much work, like literally I have an assessment every day for the next week. On the top of that my paper submission date is coming closer and I am still on the researching stage. But still I can't study or work. I just feel so restless, I try trust me I try my best but I end up searching something silly or something totally useless. Or else stalking my former crush on various social media(s). I am just so restless just can't sit like this any more. I keep on thing of lovey dovey stuff and Wuthering Height and Pride and Prejudice. What shall I do? I so need to get my research paper published and for that I need to start working. And the picture below is totally the solution to my problem.

So what I was dreading finally happened, my friend and my crush finally got together. But as it turns out it is not that bad, I don't feel resentful or sad in fact I'm quite happy.  I have realized I didn't like him at all. I was just fascinated with him and that fascination got over as soon as I talked with him for some time. He is just as boring as everyone else. And on the top of that I'm really happy for her, I never knew I was such a good friend. See she had lived in Delhi for a very long time so as to cope up with the beasts there (yes that what they deserved to be called) she got into this shell, became something she was not. But with him she feels she is returning back to her old self. And she just seems so happy, I can't just simply resent her happiness and frankly I'm not that damaged(I still have faith in humanity), in fact I'm not damaged at all. My thick skin has protected me pretty well from the activities of these beasts. I feel people are c

Okay so here it goes anyone who has read my previous blog post of the same title would know what I'm talking about, anyone who has not read the same can read it here . So now previously it was just that they were on good terms now in her own words she likes him, and the way I see it even he likes her as well. I mean could it get any worse . On the top of it the crush which would have gone by now has just intensified, I hear more about him through her and the more I hear the more I like him. Ahh this is so frustrating and kind of sad. I am pretty sure that if I give it a week  or two more they might just official start dating then how the hell am I supposed to be around them, even right now I try to act cool around him but I know that I am failing miserably. He probably just thinks I am an obnoxious bitch(for the lack of a better word). And its not that he is very good looking but he is so sweet and nice and generally good and I like him and I haven't fallen this hard for a guy

So today in our Philosophy lecture we were shown this documentary on "The Secret" based on the book by the same name. For those of you who have not read the book or seen the documentary I am going to give you a gist of it. It revolves around Law of Attraction, which basically means you get the thing or rather you attract the things you want. So if I keep on constantly thinking about how I might fail their is a very good chance that I might just fail because the universe gives you want you want. So why am I writing about it? Well in the documentary it was said that it is just not thinking which helps you get something, the fulfillment of your thinking depends upon how you feel so if you have good feeling about a thing you would attract more of it. Also for the law of attraction to work you have to ask for what you want, like say it out loud or write it on a piece of paper, so here I'm writing it to you- I want my research paper which I am writing now to be published. No

Aww  I'm back to the hostel and I don't want to be back, I just miss home so much. I know once I get back in the grind I would feel better and would stop missing home but right now I feel very shitty. Just feel as if I'm just holding back tears with lot of effort and feel as if I'm going to fall sick like last time  which I don't want to happen, I just keep thinking back as to what I would be doing if was back home. This is so frustrating I wanna be back home but I know I shouldn't and that I can't.