Things are not working out

Hey Blog,

It has been a while what can I say it has been a rough and busy one year. A lot has happened and I don't intend to catch you up on what all has happened, atleast not today. But, today I am here to tell you about a new problem I am facing these days. I have always breezed through exams and assignments. But lately it has gotten harder. For the past two semester my grades have been on a downward spiral. Additionally, I have not been able to concentrate and recently I got a 14 on an assignment, which is by the way way below average. Admittedly my paper last semester were not really that well but still my scores in some subjects were just abominable. I am really disappointed. Additionally, after that I promised myself that I would do my best this semester but that is so not happening. I am trying but I have a feeling that my internals just don't come out nice. It is like I am unable to think. I feel DUMB. I have never felt that in my entire life. I have given up on many things in my life; I no longer need friends and companionship I think I do without it. All I want is to score well this last three semesters. Okay let me be more specific things I want this year-
1. That in my revaluation I get a B in both my papers
2. That I do well in my moot- we atleast make it to the semis and get best memo, researcher and best speaker
3. I want a 3.7 in my external in 8th Semester
4. I want a job , ideally which atleast gives me a living wage and a chance of growth

Comments

Percy jackson and the lighting theif

Today, i watched the movie Percy Jackson & the lighting thief it was very nice . I found it very entertaining .the thing which i loved about the movie was the perfect balance between fiction & reality. also the story line was very refreshing and innovative. Also i'm very interested in Greek mythologial characters that too was a great plus point in the movie.

Nothing kills you like your mind

Okay so this another life changing moment for me, I just realize that more than half of the time I'm don't do things because of fear of failing, I have a very vivid imagination I can imagine the worse case scenario in very situation even when something good may have a chance of happening I just mess it up by thinking and overthinking it. Like right now I have this MUN coming up and trust me I have wanted to MUN for a very long time but now I'm really scared and because of that I'm making all these worst case scenarios in my mind about how I would suck. The problem with me is that I care, not too much, but still I do care enough to hesitate, and this is where I lose out on opportunities, but now I have decided I'm going to give up on this hesitation and not let my mind kill me slowly. I'm going to do what I like, how I like and when I like. I'm going to ask questions in class, participate in discussions and debates, volunteer alone if I have to, but I wo...

First fight with room mate

So it is generally accepted fact that it takes a lot to set me off, I mean people give examples of my patience, seriously they do, it is no exaggeration. But now enough is enough, so I had a fight with my room mate, well to be exact it was not really a fight, I shouted and she just walked out not that much exchange of words and stuff, but one gets the point it was a disagreement. So now there this kind of cold war kind of thing going on between us, where we are giving each other a cold shoulder, now I do know that I may have overreacted a bit but my initial reaction was completely justified. What is done is done, now it is time to move on, but the point of ego comes into play who is going to make the first contact, who is going to be the first one to bow down and talk? And frankly I don't mind being the first one at all.

The Turning Point

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