Skip to main content

Am I really cold hearted?

I have been called cold hearted a lot times by many people and I have never taken it seriously. They always said so in jest and I took it likewise. But I think there might be some truth  in it. Recently, I have come to realize that maybe I am a terrible person really. Maybe not terrible like Hitler but like an unemphatic, unfeeling person.  One may ask why do I feel so?  Well, I am going to give a point by point answer for this-

1. I get bored of people
Yes, you read it right. I get bored of people. I cannot be around same people day in and day out. Let me illustrate this with the help of a very recent example- I have this friend, I have no issues with her. She is cool, nice. A little irresponsible but that never bothered me. I have been spending almost  8-12 hours with daily for almost a  month now and I am so bored of her. I can literally predict what she is doing. I cannot even talk to anymore, I am happy the days she doesn't come to work. I am not even interested in her life anymore, she just keeps on talking and I don't feel like replying back. I would be glad when I get some space from her, it would be a relief indeed. And this is not the first time. This has happened with  me so many times. With school friends, with parents, sister, with room mates, the list goes on and on.

2. I don't miss people
People miss people; parents, friends, siblings etc. I don't I have been away from home for three years now I have never missed my parents or sister. I don't my friends when they are not around. If people message me they miss me. I reply after a couple of hours cause I don't know what  to say. In the end I just end up saying a very fake "Aww". Which brings me to my third point

3. I ignore people
I ignore texts, calls not because I am busy. Because, I don't feel like. Need I say more

4. I don't feel stuff
I see people feeling stuff. I don't, I just function. I have crushes don't get me wrong but it is so sexual always. Even in my fantasy I get bored of him and break up with them. I can only people till the time I don't know them otherwise I am done.

5. I am very selfish
I am not selfish like everyone. I cannot put anyone before me, like anyone's any need. I think that no one ever puts me first(which I don't think is true) then why should I do likewise.

After reading this I am pretty sure no one thinks I am capable of loving any one and I am pretty sure no one will ever love me after knowing all this. Good thing then that I have no  readers.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Restoring back faith in humanity one person at a time.

So what I was dreading finally happened, my friend and my crush finally got together. But as it turns out it is not that bad, I don't feel resentful or sad in fact I'm quite happy.  I have realized I didn't like him at all. I was just fascinated with him and that fascination got over as soon as I talked with him for some time. He is just as boring as everyone else. And on the top of that I'm really happy for her, I never knew I was such a good friend. See she had lived in Delhi for a very long time so as to cope up with the beasts there (yes that what they deserved to be called) she got into this shell, became something she was not. But with him she feels she is returning back to her old self. And she just seems so happy, I can't just simply resent her happiness and frankly I'm not that damaged(I still have faith in humanity), in fact I'm not damaged at all. My thick skin has protected me pretty well from the activities of these beasts. I feel people are c
Post a Comment
Read more

Not a Teenager anymore

Well, I think it is about time I revamp my blog. There are a cuple of reasons for this- to begin with I am not a teenager anymore I just turned 20 so the blog desperately needs a name change. Plus I started this blog when I was really young with really no clear motive in mind . Over the past two years it has become more like my online journal, but a very ill documented one at that. I become activee on it when I feel like and leave it at the drop of the hat. My lack of commitment to this blog is something which I am really ashamed off, I know I have no readership so I slack off more and thus begins the vicious cycle. I did not start this blog for the readership but then again I don't really remember why did I ever start it in the first place. I remember I always thought ( and still do) that I was a good writer  and ws capable of producing something that the world would be inerested in reading. But, now I do realize that though I am a good  writer but there are better writers out
Post a Comment
Read more

Need for validation

I have known it for quite some time that I have a very desperate need for validation and I can't tolerate criticism, there have been times when I have stopped talking to people or have manipulated public opinion to his determinant against a person who has dared to criticize me. I know I have a fault, I know that I am not really that good of an orator but I know one thing for sure that I have this friend to whom I have referred before as. " That annoying friend" and dude I know she is dumber than I am. I know it in my heart and my brain. She is just this extremely emotional creature who as acts like a child, is extremely uncompromising and a grave attention seeker. She is really slow can't understand criticism. But that is not what I am writing to you about, what really annoys me is that the fact that she does not work hard at all, she does not even complete her syllabus, does nothing, I know for a fact that she can't write or think crap and still ends up gettin
Post a Comment
Read more