I really need a win, I have not had one for a very long time. It is long overdue I feel but I feel I am too desperate and hence I won't get it. Plus I want it for all the wrong reasons like I want it because I want to show off to my new crush that I am smart. I am pretty sure that my senior teammates feel that I am dumb and I don't want to be the only on who loses form my college contingent like last time. And on top of that I have absolutely no achievement in College whatsoever I really need this.
So what I was dreading finally happened, my friend and my crush finally got together. But as it turns out it is not that bad, I don't feel resentful or sad in fact I'm quite happy. I have realized I didn't like him at all. I was just fascinated with him and that fascination got over as soon as I talked with him for some time. He is just as boring as everyone else. And on the top of that I'm really happy for her, I never knew I was such a good friend. See she had lived in Delhi for a very long time so as to cope up with the beasts there (yes that what they deserved to be called) she got into this shell, became something she was not. But with him she feels she is returning back to her old self. And she just seems so happy, I can't just simply resent her happiness and frankly I'm not that damaged(I still have faith in humanity), in fact I'm not damaged at all. My thick skin has protected me pretty well from the activities of these beasts. I feel people are c
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