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Need a win

I really need a win, I have not had one for a very long time. It is long overdue I feel but I feel I am too desperate and hence I won't get it. Plus I want it for all the wrong reasons like I want it because I want to show off to my new crush that I am smart. I am pretty sure that my senior teammates feel that I am dumb and I don't want to be the only on who loses form my college contingent like last time. And on top of that I have absolutely no achievement in College whatsoever I really need this. 

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