Where are the results?

It has been a month into the third semester and I am so exhausted and so lost that I don't know what to do anymore.

I work so hard, I try so much yet I don't get any results. I had this moot thing for which I worked my ass off and I got disqualified, I mean people who did absolutely nothing got ranks and I got disqualified.

Plus because of this I have already messed up two of my internals and am on the way to mess up my third one.

I have this internal tomorrow for which I have studied not even a single bit and I feel I am so going to mess it up, plus it is a subject about which I don't know squat.

I know this is going to sound extremely silly and melodramatic, but I feel everything bad just happens to me I feel I just have the worst luck in the world. I just can't think of one good thing that has ever happened to me. Why do things never turn out the way I want them to? I mean the things that I want the most I just don't ever get them.

I wanted to study in a NLU more than anything in the world I did not get in.

I wanted just 95% in twelfth boards, I missed by 0.2%

I just wanted to do a moot this year, I got disqualified and banned from any subsequent mooting activity this year.

I know no one ever gets everything they ever want, but at least they get to live at least one of their fantasies, they at least get to live one of their dream, at least one good thing happens to them.

I look at my friends and I see they are happy, they have good things in their life. I somehow feel their lives are more complete.

They might also have problems, they might also have trouble but they still have something good in their life to look forward to. I don't even have that.

What am I doing with my life?

Why am I even here?

Comments

Percy jackson and the lighting theif

Today, i watched the movie Percy Jackson & the lighting thief it was very nice . I found it very entertaining .the thing which i loved about the movie was the perfect balance between fiction & reality. also the story line was very refreshing and innovative. Also i'm very interested in Greek mythologial characters that too was a great plus point in the movie.

Nothing kills you like your mind

Okay so this another life changing moment for me, I just realize that more than half of the time I'm don't do things because of fear of failing, I have a very vivid imagination I can imagine the worse case scenario in very situation even when something good may have a chance of happening I just mess it up by thinking and overthinking it. Like right now I have this MUN coming up and trust me I have wanted to MUN for a very long time but now I'm really scared and because of that I'm making all these worst case scenarios in my mind about how I would suck. The problem with me is that I care, not too much, but still I do care enough to hesitate, and this is where I lose out on opportunities, but now I have decided I'm going to give up on this hesitation and not let my mind kill me slowly. I'm going to do what I like, how I like and when I like. I'm going to ask questions in class, participate in discussions and debates, volunteer alone if I have to, but I wo...

First fight with room mate

So it is generally accepted fact that it takes a lot to set me off, I mean people give examples of my patience, seriously they do, it is no exaggeration. But now enough is enough, so I had a fight with my room mate, well to be exact it was not really a fight, I shouted and she just walked out not that much exchange of words and stuff, but one gets the point it was a disagreement. So now there this kind of cold war kind of thing going on between us, where we are giving each other a cold shoulder, now I do know that I may have overreacted a bit but my initial reaction was completely justified. What is done is done, now it is time to move on, but the point of ego comes into play who is going to make the first contact, who is going to be the first one to bow down and talk? And frankly I don't mind being the first one at all.

The Turning Point

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