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Hoping for a turn of events

It would not be incorrect say that past couple of months have been sucky at the best. Everyone around me is getting jobs, winning moots and scoring better marks than me. And I feel as if I am stuck. I feel I am not moving forward. I don't have a job or a prospect of a job. I am  doing terribly at my internals. I feel terrible, both mentally and physically. I can't empty my brain. Every time sit to work on my internals or externls my brain turns to my lack of prospects. I am trying everything, I think. I have dropped my standards and applying for like really random jobs on LinkedIn yet no response.  I can't concentrate on my work because of this Albatross around my neck. My externals start on the 22nd and I am so ill prepared. I swear it keeps on getting worse and worse. I am really tired I just want to be employed. I want to get a moot and do well in that moot. I want AP to call me and I want to be happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to know what did I do wrong, why are good things happening to EVERYONE but me.
So ending this sob crib with a hope that the reminder of  2018 turns out to be good. Please 2018-19 be good, I don't know how much more bad news and sucker punches I can take. 

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