Hoping for a turn of events

It would not be incorrect say that past couple of months have been sucky at the best. Everyone around me is getting jobs, winning moots and scoring better marks than me. And I feel as if I am stuck. I feel I am not moving forward. I don't have a job or a prospect of a job. I am doing terribly at my internals. I feel terrible, both mentally and physically. I can't empty my brain. Every time sit to work on my internals or externls my brain turns to my lack of prospects. I am trying everything, I think. I have dropped my standards and applying for like really random jobs on LinkedIn yet no response. I can't concentrate on my work because of this Albatross around my neck. My externals start on the 22nd and I am so ill prepared. I swear it keeps on getting worse and worse. I am really tired I just want to be employed. I want to get a moot and do well in that moot. I want AP to call me and I want to be happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to know what did I do wrong, why are good things happening to EVERYONE but me.
So ending this sob crib with a hope that the reminder of 2018 turns out to be good. Please 2018-19 be good, I don't know how much more bad news and sucker punches I can take.

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Percy jackson and the lighting theif

Today, i watched the movie Percy Jackson & the lighting thief it was very nice . I found it very entertaining .the thing which i loved about the movie was the perfect balance between fiction & reality. also the story line was very refreshing and innovative. Also i'm very interested in Greek mythologial characters that too was a great plus point in the movie.

Nothing kills you like your mind

Okay so this another life changing moment for me, I just realize that more than half of the time I'm don't do things because of fear of failing, I have a very vivid imagination I can imagine the worse case scenario in very situation even when something good may have a chance of happening I just mess it up by thinking and overthinking it. Like right now I have this MUN coming up and trust me I have wanted to MUN for a very long time but now I'm really scared and because of that I'm making all these worst case scenarios in my mind about how I would suck. The problem with me is that I care, not too much, but still I do care enough to hesitate, and this is where I lose out on opportunities, but now I have decided I'm going to give up on this hesitation and not let my mind kill me slowly. I'm going to do what I like, how I like and when I like. I'm going to ask questions in class, participate in discussions and debates, volunteer alone if I have to, but I wo...

First fight with room mate

So it is generally accepted fact that it takes a lot to set me off, I mean people give examples of my patience, seriously they do, it is no exaggeration. But now enough is enough, so I had a fight with my room mate, well to be exact it was not really a fight, I shouted and she just walked out not that much exchange of words and stuff, but one gets the point it was a disagreement. So now there this kind of cold war kind of thing going on between us, where we are giving each other a cold shoulder, now I do know that I may have overreacted a bit but my initial reaction was completely justified. What is done is done, now it is time to move on, but the point of ego comes into play who is going to make the first contact, who is going to be the first one to bow down and talk? And frankly I don't mind being the first one at all.

The Turning Point

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