Are these constant fights with my parents , these hours wasted on working on application and CV, these
constant pressure and red eyes and dark circles - are they worth it, when I don’t even know what I want or
where I want to be. My ambition in life changes with each semester.
I am just
so done with life and so sick and tired of all of this. I just want to take a
break but I am so afraid that I will be left behind. I am fine till the moment
I am away from here, but the moment I come back I feel worthless I feel as if I
am somehow not good enough, not competent enough. Would anything ever be worth it? Would I ever
be happy?
That is all I truly want to be happy, to be loved, to explore. To go places and find loose myself. I just want to pickup my bag and never come back. Just roam around the world even India would do. Not knowing anyone or anything no worries about jobs, internship or anything else. Just exploring the world, seeing different places and no connection, no feelings no hassle.
I think I just stumbled on to the problem, FEELINGS. I am generally, unfeeling. I only care about few people anyway and I am always worrying about these few people only. If I had no people to worry about, life would be great, right?
There would literally be nothing stopping me from picking up my bag leaving( maybe money) but I think can be managed(hopefully) but it would definitely open-up new avenues for me.
Maybe, I should try living a life without any attachments. The prospect sounds so enticing.
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