Is any of it worth it?

Are these constant fights with my parents , these hours wasted on working on application and CV, these constant pressure and red eyes and dark circles - are they worth it, when I don’t even know what I want or where I want to be. My ambition in life changes with each semester.

I am just so done with life and so sick and tired of all of this. I just want to take a break but I am so afraid that I will be left behind. I am fine till the moment I am away from here, but the moment I come back I feel worthless I feel as if I am somehow not good enough, not competent enough. Would anything ever be worth it? Would I ever be happy?

That is all I truly want to be happy, to be loved, to explore. To go places and ~~find~~ loose myself. I just want to pickup my bag and never come back. Just roam around the world even India would do. Not knowing anyone or anything no worries about jobs, internship or anything else. Just exploring the world, seeing different places and no connection, no feelings no hassle.

I think I just stumbled on to the problem, FEELINGS. I am generally, unfeeling. I only care about few people anyway and I am always worrying about these few people only. If I had no people to worry about, life would be great, right?

There would literally be nothing stopping me from picking up my bag leaving( maybe money) but I think can be managed(hopefully) but it would definitely open-up new avenues for me.

Maybe, I should try living a life without any attachments. The prospect sounds so enticing.

Comments

Percy jackson and the lighting theif

Today, i watched the movie Percy Jackson & the lighting thief it was very nice . I found it very entertaining .the thing which i loved about the movie was the perfect balance between fiction & reality. also the story line was very refreshing and innovative. Also i'm very interested in Greek mythologial characters that too was a great plus point in the movie.

Nothing kills you like your mind

Okay so this another life changing moment for me, I just realize that more than half of the time I'm don't do things because of fear of failing, I have a very vivid imagination I can imagine the worse case scenario in very situation even when something good may have a chance of happening I just mess it up by thinking and overthinking it. Like right now I have this MUN coming up and trust me I have wanted to MUN for a very long time but now I'm really scared and because of that I'm making all these worst case scenarios in my mind about how I would suck. The problem with me is that I care, not too much, but still I do care enough to hesitate, and this is where I lose out on opportunities, but now I have decided I'm going to give up on this hesitation and not let my mind kill me slowly. I'm going to do what I like, how I like and when I like. I'm going to ask questions in class, participate in discussions and debates, volunteer alone if I have to, but I wo...

First fight with room mate

So it is generally accepted fact that it takes a lot to set me off, I mean people give examples of my patience, seriously they do, it is no exaggeration. But now enough is enough, so I had a fight with my room mate, well to be exact it was not really a fight, I shouted and she just walked out not that much exchange of words and stuff, but one gets the point it was a disagreement. So now there this kind of cold war kind of thing going on between us, where we are giving each other a cold shoulder, now I do know that I may have overreacted a bit but my initial reaction was completely justified. What is done is done, now it is time to move on, but the point of ego comes into play who is going to make the first contact, who is going to be the first one to bow down and talk? And frankly I don't mind being the first one at all.

The Turning Point

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