For as long as I could remember I always wanted to be special, I wanted to be unique, in the top two percent. I wanted brilliant, magical things to happen to me. I imagined how I would feel when it would happen. These brilliant magical things ranged from getting into the best college to winning a moot to having a fairy tale romance. I kept on waiting for these things to happen and they did but never to me. Whenever it happened to anyone else, I would make myself a victim and blame others or tear down that other person. This created a viscous cycle of negativity which kept on making me more and more depressed. I was scared to accept the fact that maybe I am average or normal. It took me 20 years to realize that I don't have to be special. I can be normal, live a normal yet successful & fulfilling life and be happy. I chose to make myself miserable. Maybe I don't deserve what I want, maybe I will get something better or maybe what I want is not what I need. These may soun